Last Christmas

I always know Christmas is coming when I see this

My lovely red friends

Last Christmas, I drank an ocean of Gingerbread Latte (with cream of course) and thought I’d be doing the same now but two big things are different from last year.

The first is Elijah.

Last red cup season, I was pregnant and seeing those cups brings back memories of how excited I was about the year to come and how much I was looking forward to drinking my Starbucks in Christmas 2012 with a new baby.

The second big change is down to my adultery.

Yes, I’ve committed adultery since Christmas 2011. The cheating started slowly. A bit here and a bit there but now I admit it. I can’t stop. This is my new love

I love you too Costa Capp

The first time I tried it, I wasn’t sure and I felt very, very guilty about cheating on my beloved SB, but then the fella behind the counter smiled at me knowingly, like he knew I was cheating, like he knew the struggle going on in my soul. Slowly he created a picture out of chocolate sprinkles on top of my coffee fluff and I was forever changed.

I tried to resist.

I keep going back to give us another chance. A last shot at reconciliation. I smile as I take my Starbucks Grande Cappuchino (two shots) and think to myself “it’s all in your mind. Forget about the other one. This one is just as good. You CAN make it work”.

It’s hopeless. The fluff isn’t as fluffy. The shot of caffeine not as intense. The taste just not as smooth and they NEVER, EVER play Simon & Garfunkel.

I think I realised that there was no going back, when I looked at the regulars wall last week. On that wall are polaroid photos of all the Starbucks regulars. Regulars like Mick, who drinks in there every single morning, propping up the caffeine bar so to speak.

I wasn’t on there and that’s incredible, considering I drink enough Cappuchino in a week to keep the whole of Italy awake for a month.

So, two big things are different and as much as I want and as much as I may try, neither of those things is going to change. 2013 is about coming to terms with the new, unexpected life in front of me and leaving those lovely little red cups to Last Christmas.


5 thoughts on “Last Christmas

  1. im soooo with you on the costa love!! although also blame myself for helping you commit that crime against starbucks!! oh monday mornings ………..

  2. I’m not a coffee drinker, but this was quite entertaining. I went and read your other posts and wish I could give you a hug. I can’t imagine. I hope writing this blog helps as you grieve.

  3. I just came upon your blog via NaBloPoMo on BlogHer.

    I don’t drink Starbucks often because my local cafe is tastier and more convenient but I am TOTALLY with you with the red cups signifying the season!

    (also, I read a bit more of your blog and just wanted you to know that I’m sending you lots of love).

  4. I’ve never liked Starbucks coffee very much, but I am always drawn in by the red cups… and although they make me feel a bit ill, I still can’t resist their eggnog lattes: so wrong, but so right. PS – Nicky, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I think you are pretty awesome. xx

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